3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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