If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
