She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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