Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
