one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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