he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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