I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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