it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
