am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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