Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
