so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
