I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
