And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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