How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
