In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need moral support for this bender
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
