I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
