you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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