It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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