i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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