You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
