Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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