problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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