Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
