"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize