DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
