Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Are we still banned from the library?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
