I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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