batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
