it hurts more in the daytime
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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