from now on my penis is your penis
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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