ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
