I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
