My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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