your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
