so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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