So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
