The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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