Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
