he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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