I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
