i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
