I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
