Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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