she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
