I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
