Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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