Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I currently don't understand fingers.
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