You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
