found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up under a house in Key West
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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