i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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