all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
