I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
