I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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