Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm having to shit out rocks
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