DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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